Crumbs on the Floor

Back to where I was after being walloped with the news that uncle accused my mother of molesting him. 

Shortly after his visit to the detachment and his ridiculously feeble attempt to try and derail the file from going any further I am informed that charges have been recommended to the Crown Counsel and that a court date of Sept 14th, 2007 has been set.  This would be the first of my many heartbreaking misconceptions about how the "justice" system works.  I had no idea that the police "recommend" charges - I do know what the word "recommend" means in the real world but I thought that the police were the folks that laid the charges and that Crown Counsel represented the victims.  I was seriously mistaken and also very uniformed. 

The police make the arrests, take the statements, do all of the research into the Criminal Code as to what charges SHOULD be filed.......that is SHOULD not WILL.  In the province of BC the Crown Counsel holds all of the cards. The file goes to a gate keeping committee who decide if the case is winnable - simply put.  They are funding out of the public purse and they decide which files to pursue.  If they think it is unwinable than they bounce the file back and say thank you for your time and have a nice life.

I wait patiently for the entire summer to pass with my eyes on the prize of Sept 14th.  I cannot believe that in less than 2 months I will have the chance to go to court and see my abuser stand in front of a judge and have to answer either Not Guilty or Guilty.  I am ok with either plea because he is the one that will be crucified by the Crown Counsel.  He is the one that will be presented with the sworn affidavidt of what he said to me in front of my therapist.  Bring it on. I even went and bought a new suit!!!

The week of Sept 10 - 14th was a week of chaos.  I had clients coming in from out of town that had to buy a house THAT week.  That is a pressure keg of a situation at the best of times!  I was frantic all week - the market was super fast, they were coming from Ontario and were really struggling with the huge price difference between here and there and I was wondering how the heck I was going to explain that I was going to be AWOL on Friday......oh by the way.....I know you need to buy a house but I have to go to court to watch my abuser enter a plea.....hope you understand........

Late Thursday afternoon after a grueling day of driving around looking at houses and trying to find new listings to look at we parted company - they to their hotel and me to the closest Starbucks for a much needed shot of caffeine. My phone rings.....it is the caseworker at a Private Organization who has someone ended up with my file to act as a messenger, etc. I hardly know this woman - she is so sweet and kind but I had never even met her - and she tells me........16 hours before I will have my day in court ..........that...........Crown Counsel has refused the charges.  I am silent - she asks me if I am still there.......yes I am but I have no idea what you are talking about.......I was given a court date of Sept 14th so how can it be that the afternoon ( conveniently after Crown Counsel office hours) before court you are telling me there is no court date, there are no charges and my file has been sent back to the detachment.  Stunned. Numb. Confused.  Hot tears pour down my cheeks as I sit in Starbucks trying to figure out what is going on.  I try calling the police officer - I get her voice mail.  She works Monday to Thursday and she is now off duty until Monday.  I call the main desk - I ask who would be taking her calls for her while she is off ( oh how naive I was ) I am told to leave her a voicemail and she will get it on Monday.  I try calling back the caseworker.......she has gone home for the day. 

I am sitting in Starbucks....all around me people are chatting, working on their laptops and just going about their day........while I feel like my world has worth nothing more than the crumbs on the floor from someone`s muffin.